Randomness
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Danny Fenton, a new receptionist at Wayne Enterprises:
Vicky Vale, knowing Danny Is Not Ready for her: So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?
Danny “Town Menace Phantom” Fenton, done with Genderbent Wes Weston: To fuck your mom.
Bruce’s experienced receptionist that left for 6 seconds: okay, Danny no–
Danny, who knows something’s up with the Wayne family: and your Dad, because we support the LGBTQIA community. Thank you and leave.
The batfam watching the security log later cannot stop laughing.
Tim: … I know I can’t justify it… But I want to give him a raise.
Bruce: He’s definitely not going to be reprimanded. If I see his name with a complaint?
Tim: No you didn’t. Got it B. I’ve never seen her look so offended. I’m in awe!
—–
Vicky Vale absolutely posted about it on Twitter to complain. And Danny? The gremlin? Retweeted it.
*Well if you’d respect my boss’s right to privacy? Sorry, not sorry!*
Tucker and Sam are laughing with him when they all see Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake-Wayne retweeted it….. Oh no. At least he got thumbs up from both? And… That’s the rest of the extended Wayne clan commenting….
Danny: Did I just go viral for being a bit shy receptionist?
Tucker: … You need to commit to the bit! You need the nails!
Sam: And the hair!
Danny: … Fuck it we ball! Where do I get decent fake nails?
Oh the nail technicians would have a BLAST. He just throws open the door and ANNOUNCES “I need the Bitchiest™ most reporter offending nails you’ve GOT!”
Like? (◇.◇ ) *eye glint* Our Time Has Come.
This is GOTHAM, sweetie. They have been WAITING for this day.
Do you have ANY idea how long they have bitched and moaned, strike that, LAMENTED that poor Brucie “himbo” Wayne did not have someone willing to slash tires, guarding his beautiful but emptied headed back?
It’s been like watching people bully a golden retriever.
Aim for her “standards of journalism, who’s she?” Mother Fuckin, expensive suit bought with himbo tormenting blood money, never heard of BOUNDARIES havin’ FACE!
Sandra! Get over here! We need that polish you made! Yeah. The “probably legal” one! Honey… you’re gonna be able to SHANK people when we’re done~
And Danny is just? Absolutely stars in his eyes. They… they ENABLE the ghost boy? Oh! Bonus for nail technicians! Bonus 1000 years!
Tell him about the clicky clacky stabby heels!
Sam and Tuck have slight regrets. Don’t get them WRONG, they’ll always support Danny in whatever he does. But like… they were UNAWARE they were letting Feral Racoon With A Biting Problem Man meet his PEOPLE, here? His fashionable, fashionable, delicately perfumed people.
Paulina is laughing at them over the phone because SHE knew. The beauty culture in Gotham is just… Like That™. Now she’s texting Danny tips. Sam feels vaguely betrayed. Danny… Danny how could you?
Paulina, Danny? You go to HER for “making grown adults cry” tips? In front of Sam’s SALAD, Danny? On this? The day of her non-existent daughter’s wedding?? Dead to her! Disowned! It’s like she doesn’t even KNOW you anymore!
Tucker is just trying to see how many “technically legal” “self defense” devices he can fit into one of those fashion corset thingies. Is looking up if it’s legal to walk around with stiletto knives if… and bare with him… they were shoes.
He says double down everything they tell him not to do something. Commit to the bit Danny! Fuck it, weaponizable feminine clothing! Maybe he might ACTUALLY get a date out of this! (Danny and Sam: Eeeeeh.. *so-so, it’s unlikely hand motion*) If nothing ELSE, it’ll help him break into the tech markets! He needed a niche anyway.
Why NOT? It’s GOTHAM! You work for the WAYNE’S! Free advertising AND a ready buyers market! Be gay, Danny! Do crimes! Now take these fishnets strong enough to choke out a supersolider without tearing and leave him to market research!
Danny… is getting kinda worried about Tucker. I mean, the tights are cool! But uuuuh.. *hands to sam* Lookin little Mad Scientist around the eyes their buddy… Have you been talking to Mr. Wayne’s son again? You KNOW you n Tim feed off each other in some sort of unholy spirally pit of madness, from which neither of you willingly choose to escape.
We confiscated your phone. You’re not getting Barbra BACK until you sleep, man.
(Tucker: NEVER! Traitors to the cause!)
But like? A terrifying Goth, a possible mad scientist, and the SINGLE most FERAL GNC Fae-like secretary in the history of forever, walk into Wayne Industries Monday morning.
Yes they work there. No you can’t make them leave.
Yes you SHOULD pick a God and pray.
Danny LIKES his new nails~ they got STARS on um~♡ and can poke through STEEL! :3c Now? Now he shall cause terrible people Problems On Purpose™.
>:3c
PLEASE HOLD. *elevator music*
(via faerielightning)
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I’ve seen multiple instances of the Batfam researching Anti-Ecto Acts after ghosts are brought to their attention, and of either Team Phantom or the JL looping in Clark Kent/Lois Lane to give more exposure to the horror of those same acts but…
How in-character would it be for Lois Lane herself to summon the King of Ghosts to interview an interdimensional being about these terrible Anti-Ecto Acts she recently discovered when digging up dirt on Lex Luthor?
Incredibly and immediate. Clark doesn’t even get a “Lois that doesn’t seem Wise” out. Too late. Ghost royalty in her stylish living room. She’s set out an assortment of offerings, including snacks. Help yourself.
(◇.◇) Now Talk, Ghost Man.
Danny would be thrilled! The offerings were all tasty snacks! And she wants his opinions on the anti Ecto acts? This is his new favourite person. He would be like… Ok, so first. I gotta ghost proof your tech. Then you can record this, and take photos etc. Then we can talk. And I can totes take you to the Realms to meet some of the political leaders there!
When Lois sees this child she remains professional but discreetly moves the bottles of alcohol and other inappropriate things behind her back and signals to Clark to evacuate them while she discusses with this charming boy why she called him and … ho my god that look full of hope! She’ll be damned if she doesn’t write him one of her best articles. She’s getting a hardware upgrade!?! An invitation to another dimension?!? It’s going to be a productive day! ~
Meanwhile, Clark is exasperated but in love with his fearless wife. Fortunately for his nerves the invitation extends to him
Lois is having the best day. King Phantom has given her a camera that can record everything they are doing. And boy are the Infinite Realms wild! She has gotten to meet so many interesting beings! And right now? She is watching as King Phantom is trying to fend off his friends.
Danny and his friends giving her ALL the information and proof she needs to throw together a MASTERPIECE of journalism. She lets Clark have the laws. She will get the culture and personal!!
Between them? Those laws are toast. And Danny get’s invited over for dinner. Brings along his mirror sister, big sister, and ankle tagged, in therapy future alt of him and Vlad.
Which. Lois would like those stories in order please? Because the boy King has an ADULT nemesis? Who cloned him. And in the future that never was doomed the world by being an idiot? She’s setting Clark on his ass.
Kon is delighted to meet another clone.
Kon: Why do you call her your Mirror sister?
Danny: Cause she might be a clone. But it doesn’t make her me. Like the mirror shows a reflection. But it’s still not you. Ellie is her own entire person!
Kon: Damn! I wish I’d heard that phrase I like it!
(via zsjustlooking)
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Hold up….1890? How far back does the rabbit hole go
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Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)
Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.
Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!
Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks
Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!
Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row
Somewhere or other, C. S. Lewis points out (and I’m paraphrasing here) that every era of writing has its own tropes and its own blind spots; its own failings and its own successes. This is why it’s important to read in lots of different eras: so you can see what does and doesn’t work, in the long run, and be able to make your own informed choices about how to write.
(via neil-gaiman)
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When the world feels full of agonies, ask yourself.
- Are you hungry?
- Have you taken your meds?
- When was the last time you went outside?
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Google doc is here
Discord is here
(If the google doc link doesn’t work for you, try joining the discord server; it should let you in from there, or otherwise let you know if the doc is temporarily down for maintenance.
If the discord link doesn’t work, feel free to hit me up and I’ll try to connect you.)
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posting niche fic on ao3 is like releasing a small creature into the wild and hoping it survives and finds sustenance
got one whole comment… the small creature may yet survive the winter
this is accurate
(via blackfoxsposts)
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